Yesterday Is Behind Me
By: Melody Mohnhaupt
She cries and cries and cries until the tears will no longer produce. Her eyes are red, sore, and puffy. Her head is pounding. She’s broken. The pit in her stomach seems to be ever plunging downward. The emptiness is expanding within her. Her hope is dwindling. She’s only holding on by a thread.
She never imagined she’d be here. How did this happen? How did she drift so far? She didn't even recognize who she was anymore. This wasn't the woman she wanted to be.
So many thoughts raced through her mind she felt like her head might just explode. What now? How am I now? How do I go back? I’m not worthy. I can’t do it. I can’t face anyone. I’m a hypocrite. A liar. A joke. All I want to do it run. Run. Run. Run. And keep on running.
…
Have you been there? Have you ever woken up and just wondered, “What happened with my life? How did I end up here?”. Do you beat yourself up about decisions you’ve made? Do you ever convince yourself that you’ve drifted too far? That the things you’ve done are just too big? Or that you’ve just failed one too many times?
I know I have. I’ve held on to baggage for so long. I let condemnation takeover my life. Even as a child, I was sure that God was just waiting to strike me down at any given moment because of my mistakes.
I lived in so much fear and self condemnation simply because I didn't really know the God I claimed to serve. I seemed to have skipped the MANY verses in the Bible that emphasized his mercy, forgiveness, and grace. Here are just a few:
1 John 1:9 (AMP)
If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].
Isaiah 43:25 (AMP)
I, only I, am He who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake,
And I will not remember your sins.
Isaiah 1:18 (AMP)
“Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
They shall be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be like wool.
Acts 3:19 (AMP)
So repent [change your inner self—your old way of thinking, regret past sins] and return [to God—seek His purpose for your life], so that your sins may be wiped away [blotted out, completely erased], so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord [restoring you like a cool wind on a hot day];
2 Cor 5:17 (AMP)
Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].
Ephesians 1:7 (AMP)
In Him we have redemption [that is, our deliverance and salvation] through His blood, [which paid the penalty for our sin and resulted in] the forgiveness andcomplete pardon of our sin, in accordance with the riches of His grace
Hebrews 10:17 (AMP)
“And their sins and their lawless acts
I will remember no more [no longer holding their sins against them].”
We tend to believe that even after we’ve repented, that God is keeping records of our wrongs. He’s not. The second you say, “Forgive me, Lord.” with a genuine heart, your slate is wiped shiny white.
Along with those verses, we have Biblical/historical examples of people who failed miserably, repented, and moved on to be used by the Lord.
- David, a “man after God’s own heart” (Acts 13:22 KJV), committed adultery, got that same woman (another man’s wife) pregnant, and had her husband killed! Yet, God STILL forgave him and used him. Of course David suffered the consequences, but the Lord didn't hold those mistakes against him for the rest of his life. God didn't continually remind him of when he fell. He sincerely forgave him and used him!
- Saul(Paul) was one of the most greatly used men in the Bible. But before he came to the realization of who Jesus is and what his calling was, his mission was actually very different. He had many followers of Jesus thrown in jail and desired death over the Christians. But God still used him? Yes. We see that even Paul dealt with condemnation, but thankfully he also knew how merciful and gracious our Father is:
1 Corinthians 15:9-10 (AMP)
For I am the least [worthy] of the apostles, and not fit to be called an apostle, because I [at one time] fiercely oppressed and violently persecuted the church of God. But by the [remarkable] grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not without effect. In fact, I worked harder than all of the apostles, though it was not I, but the grace of God [His unmerited favor and blessing which was] with me.
Sweet girl, fret not. It’s not too late. Don't give up just yet. There is hope! You haven't gone too far. The most terrible, embarrassing, shameful thing you’ve done is NOT too big to be forgiven. Yesterday is done and over with! Hallelujah!!
Lamentations 3:22-23 (AMP)
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Can I get an “Amen”?! You are a new creature. Hold your head up high pretty girl, because you’ve been forgiven!
~ Melody
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